The Close of 2011

My New Year started on November 14^th, my 26^th birthday.  The week-end before, we’d had a forced-but-fun birthday party at my favourite restaurant, but the day of was bland, routine, and lonely.  I was alone with my thoughts, my job search, my chores, and once night came, my shows.  But that night Basketball Wives LA and Love & Hip Hop weren’t hitting the spot like they usually did.  So I decided to do something I hadn’t done for a while—journal.

I know, I know.  You probably think writers blog or journal everyday and maybe some do.  But I’m more the type that writes when things are terribly wrong.  The break-ups, the bad dreams, the drama, the low moments…these are what draws my craft out of me when it comes to my personal writing.  On this particular occasion, I realised I was 26; much closer to 30 than 20.  The job hunt, for several reasons, was producing nothing.  And as most 26 year old women would mourn—I was still unmarried. 

I know!  I’m not old, not really…. I’ve got my looks, my genes, and my shape (although it’s not where I’d like it to be).  Only a few of my close friends are married, but I can feel the number increasing….  More and more married friends are creeping into my tight-knit circle; school mates are having 1, 2, and 3 babies.  I’m an aunt and godmother to 2 wonderful little tikes and I’m started to get that itch.  You women know what I’m talking about.  In truth, I’ve had it for a while.  And sometimes I find myself—Lord forgive me—envying those who have the house, the spouse, and the kid(s).  But as my pastor and mentor once said, “Desiree, you’re a very young lady!” It sounded funny when he said it, but I knew he was right.  And at the end of the day, I don’t want to be married to my friends’ spouses, have their children or their lives.  I want the man that I love, and my own children and my own life—at the right time.  

Much as I thought I’d be married, gained a particular status, or achieved a particular dream by now, I haven’t.  And you know what?  That’s ok.  I don’t want to live out someone else’s expectation or dream for me.  However, I would like to feel like I’m not a late-bloomer. 

I think I’ve always felt like I was behind everyone else.  Spiritually, educationally, socially, and more.  And sure, there are some things that were just meant to be.  Others, are my own shortcomings.  And this was the crux of my birthday depression.  Now, if you’re reading this.  I appreciate any sympathy you may feel, but stop feeling it.  I like to think of it as a constructive depression that I felt. As I sat journaling, I knew that the things I was most unhappy about were things that were my own fault, yet things that I had the ability to change.      

If I’d been picky about my job search, it was time out for that.  Desperation became my new motivation.  Marriage need not be a concern because it will happen when I’m ready.  Kids—well, what’s the point in even discussing them?  My lack of drive was my real problem. 

I’ve never really been a driven person as it concerns the things that matter.  Oh sure, I could hustle to get a ride somewhere in college.  I could stay on top of any and everyone’s birthday who was important to me.  I could remind my man about that thing he said we were going to do 2 two months earlier.  But when it came to the job hunt, there was cooking, dusting, cleaning, and laundry to be done.  Not to mention, the job offer was too far away, the staffing agency never called me back, or I wasn’t comfortable with the responsibilities, etc.  And though these circumstances may have been true, there was no real drive to find something that worked.  And that was no one’s fault but my own.

           

Now I’m in a new place—literally.  Going back to the beginning; Get on My Grind 101.  And let me tell you—it sucks.  But you know what?  If I keep up the momentum I’ve ended 2011 with and am starting 2012 with, then November 14^th, 2012 and January 1^st, 2013 will be a very different picture for me.  Now, I’m not saying anything crazy like I’ll be married or have a million-dollar business (not yet anyway).  But what I am saying is that the possibilities are endless. 

On this eve of 2012, my life is so full of options.  I’ve got realistic goals and plans to help me achieve them.  I’m writing—a lot.  I’ve got great God-given musical ideas and aspirations.  I just did my first bonafide photo shoot for an established magazine.  I’ve got wonderful connections I believe God will use for His purpose and my success.  I’ve got the best mentor, business advisor, and friends a gal could ask for.  God has certainly been good and will continue to be so.  I pray this year I’ll make Him proud. 

In 2012, I encourage you all to discover what’s been lacking in your life.  What has God placed in your lap that you’ve done nothing with?  Where have you allowed yourself to fall behind?  Make an honest assessment of your life, and then do something about it. There’s no time like the present.  

Destroying the Family: It Starts with the Children

When I logged into my Yahoo homepage today I was outraged to find a certain article.  Maybe some of you have read it: No ‘Him’ or ‘Her’; Preschool Fights Gender Bias.  The article features a particular preschool in Stockholm, Sweden—Egalia—which is seeking to breakdown gender roles in order to allow the children to be whoever they decide to be.  It also seeks to foster tolerance of the LGBT society. 

Some of you might have also read the article on an American baby named “Stormie” where the parents refuse to tell the gender of the child in order to remove societal pressure for it to be one thing or another.  Only the nuclear family members know what gender the child is.

It is so amazing to me that the LGBT society, Feminists, as well as its supporters, seem to think that removing the traditional, biblical identification of a thing that it frees the said thing to be what it will when, in fact, it simply confuses the thing in question as well as society about what it actually is.  I use the word “it” because I speak of more than children.  When certain societal minorities and crooked lawyers and legislators wanted to remove the idea of human life at conception, they argued that it was a fetus, a thing, an object, not a human being.  Thus, legalizing murder and giving careless, godless women throughout the nation the ability to legally murder their children at will.

When homosexual men and women wanted to openly defy God and legally live an alternative lifestyle, they attacked the institution of marriage stating that marriage was not a holy union between one man and one woman as the Bible describes it, but it was simply a commitment between two people—regardless of gender—who love each other.  Now, New Hampshire, Massachusetts, Connecticut, Iowa, Vermont, Washington D.C., and New York have all legalized same-sex marriage. 

Now they are starting much younger with the children.  Storybooks that once held godly morals, healthy aspirations, and no confusion of family, gender, or the like are now relegated in many places to Heather has Two Mommies as well as the book mentioned in the article on Egalia Preschool which highlights “two male giraffes who are sad to be childless — until they come across an abandoned crocodile egg”.  And these are just 2 of the many stories written and produced for the advancement of the LGBT society. 

The school also eliminates the use of pronouns like “him” or “her” [“han” and “hon”] and instead uses words like “hen”, a non-existent word used loosely by some feminist and gay circles.  They inspire confusion in child play such as allowing multiple mommies when playing house.  The mere fact that the children understand that one mommy is normal justifies the fact that schools like Egalia are busy reprogramming, better yet brainwashing, the children to go against their innate bend towards a godly, traditional lifestyle and force them to accept and embrace a homosexual lifestyle. 

All of these situations mentioned, ability to abort human life before birth, ability for men to marry men and women to marry women, ability to shake gender identification and be what one has not been created to be are all paraded falsely under the freedom of choice.  And to that I will say this: God did, in fact create us with a free will.  However, this free will was not given us so that we might spit in the face of the One who created us to serve Him and bring Him glory.  It was given us so that we might choose freely to serve Him and to be what He has called us to be.  Moses, the Law-giver, served as the mouthpiece of God when He said “I call heaven and earth as witnesses today against you, that I have set before you life and death, blessing and cursing; therefore choose life, that both you and your descendants may live” (Deuteronomy 30:19).  Yes, we are given the freedom of choice, but God gives us the answer to the test: choose life! 

Homosexuality, bisexuality, confused sexuality, and feminism [rebellious, discontented women] all are a choice to us in the same way that we may choose to drive off of a cliff, or drink a bottle of poison, or shoot ourselves in the head.  Yes, we have the choice, but it is the difference between living a fulfilling life and living an eternity with God or death—an eternal separation from God filled with the worst imaginable torment.  Who in their right mind would choose the latter? 

Another issue this whole gender confusion produces is the breakdown of the position of men in the family and, in turn, society.  The position of man is the head, the leader of the family.  Now by saying this, I am not saying that women cannot be CEOs, politicians, attorneys, or even pastors [if under the proper covering by a spiritual authority and in perfect submission to their husbands].  What I am saying though is that God has set an order for us to follow and it is this: Christ is the head of the Church as well as Man; Man/Husband is the head of the home; Woman/Wife is the head of the children.  Each is to respect the spiritual covering over them.  In the spirit there is no distinction, but thanks to The Fall, there is an order for us to follow while we are yet in these earth-suits.  And as part of the curse of The Fall, women’s desire is against man.  It is not easy for us to submit and especially so for Black American women and understandably so.  However, if the women choose their husband with much prayer, wisdom, and common sense, she will have nothing to fear in submitting to her husband since she trusts him and understands that he trusts and listens to God who serves as his head.  Its really a quite simple concept.

However, society has twisted this order into an undesirable situation.  Ages of domineering men, emotionally and physically abusive men, absentee men [for whatever reason be it slavery, the gang lifestyle, or the workaholic], and more have given women a distaste for male leadership, in and out of the home.  Then you have your Jezebels who seek to rule over their husbands and manipulate their environments to their liking, the feminists who cry falsely that they do not need men or that they are equal in ability and make-up to men, and the lesbians who have completely spit upon the idea of husbands and fathers, eradicating them from their environment unless, of course to adopt them or give birth to them and completely emasculate them. 

Child psychologist at University of California, Davis, Jay Belsky, states "The kind of things that boys like to do — run around and turn sticks into swords — will soon be disapproved of….So gender neutrality at its worst is emasculating maleness."  The identity of children, the leadership of the home, and more is locked up in man.  A woman cannot raise a man to be a man, try though she might.  Just as men are the gender which provides the embryo with the “x” or “y” gene which produces either a boy or a girl, the man names the child after its born.  It has been widely proven that boys who grow up without a father are prone to find themselves in trouble with the law or at the least be extremely troubled while we can all spot the girls who have “Daddy issues” either because he wasn’t there or because he abused her in some way or fashion.  As physically strong as a woman may be, she cannot protect herself or her family like a man would, try though she might.  Societies without men in leadership produce women who hate men and or try to replace men while they boys in their care grow up completely devoid of understanding what it is that makes them a man.  The society as a whole is ruined. 

The only thing I could possibly praise Egalia Preschool for is their use of dolls from different cultures and I am sorry for the threats they’ve received from ignorant bigots and racists.  But black dolls in a predominantly white school does not a good education make.  That may have worked 50 years ago in the racist South of America where all other values [save praying in school] seemed to be intact.  However, nowadays, it is simply not enough.  Children need clear boundaries as to what is right and what is wrong.  As aforementioned, they are born with an innate sense of fundamental understanding, but it is up to the parents and educators to teach our children right from wrong.  We must teach children, not what society thinks, but what God says.  We must give them the best advantages on the road to a long, happy, successful life in which God will be praised and pleased.  We must teach our children to choose life because after all, they are our future.